The Making of Soubi
by Mute Wordsmith
Summary: The making of Soubi at the hands of his masters. WARNING: contains yaoi and unpleasant things happening to children 'cos, you know, it's Loveless innit. Written by PandaPrinzessin and Mute Wordsmith.
1. First Impressions

**SPOILERS: Reveals a significant part of Soubi's past.  
**

* * *

Ritsu walked down the hospital corridor with the sensation that he was not really moving at all, just as he felt that there were not really people around him, not nurses, not patients in wheelchairs, not visitors, and that he was all alone, just him and the dull buzzing in his ears.

The phone call had come only an hour earlier, because any and all Fighters and Sacrifices who were assigned to Septimal Moon always had some sort of identification with the phone number of the school on it. There was of course a private hospital at the school, and there was Nagisa's clinic, but those were generally for people injured during spell battles. Ritsu found it rather disgraceful that his old Fighter had ended up dying in something so mundane as a _car accident_. Ritsu had always envisioned her dying in a spell battle, as his Fighter.

But then that would have meant that she had stayed with him.

Ritsu numbly followed the directions given to him by the receptionist.

And there would be such a lot of paperwork to fill out too, since she had gone and died. She did, after all, work with Septimal Moon. Ritsu disliked paperwork but he loathed things not being written down and recorded properly. He allowed himself to feel a slight irritation at his old Fighter.

The two bodies were still in a hospital room rather than the morgue. They had been barely alive when brought in and the doctors had operated as best they could, but the injuries were too severe and the blood loss too great and they had ultimately died, and the hospital was too busy to have taken care of them properly and so, for now, a sheet had been placed over both.

Ritsu pulled up a chair and stared at the two shapes outlined by white and rust-brown hospital sheets and felt a vague distaste. He had never liked hospitals. The routine was fine, Ritsu liked order and cleanliness, but he hated the stench and messiness of blood. A nurse click-clacked past in heels to switch a patient's IV drip, exchanging an almost completely drained bag for a full one.

As he waited (he didn't really know what for, she was dead, and that was that, and he really did need to go back to the school) he became dimly aware of a loud noise nearby, and as he struggled out of the lethargy he had submersed himself and his consciousness in, Ritsu located the source of the noise as being a child. It (was it a boy? Girl? Ritsu certainly couldn't say for sure) was wailing harshly at the top of its lungs, interspersed by hiccupping sobs, and then followed by more loud wailing.

"I want my mommy and daddy! Why won't they wake up?" the child seemed to address anyone in the room willing to answer.

_Because they're dead, _thought Ritsu irritably. As he watched, a doctor came over and, crouching down to the child's level, began to explain quietly in roundabout terms, failing to reach a solid conclusion, that his parents were unable to speak to him right now, and a relative would be coming to pick him up.

Both Ritsu and the child found this explanation insufficient, the child opting to cry more as a solution to its confusion, and the doctor giving up and shuffling off lest he have to answer any more difficult questions.

Ritsu waited until the racket had triggered a faint pounding of his temples that signalled an incoming headache before he went and knelt down to the child's level himself.

The child was small and scrawny, maybe about seven, with very short and recognisable blond hair and a copious amount of snot and tears streaming down his face. Ritsu had been studying the small child for several minutes before the child even noticed and stopped to sniff and ask,"Why won't daddy and mommy wake up? I wanna go home."

"Because they're dead," Ritsu stated plainly.

He watched the child take in and process this information. That's right, she had had a child with that man, hadn't she? It was a little footnote on her file. Ritsu had forgotten about it really.

"Don't you even understand that? What a stupid child…" Ritsu drawled. His dislike for the child was growing more and more by every moment. It was a good thing the nurse was preoccupied at the other end of the ward, she'd most likely try and kick him out for "upsetting" the child. Women were like that. Especially that annoying Nagisa. Full of unnecessary ideas about coddling people and kindness.

"They're dead? They won't wake up?" Oh good. The child had ceased its howling for the moment. If he was lucky, Ritsu might escape a headache.

"They'll never wake up again." Could a child grasp that idea? Probably not, Ritsu reflected. Even so, it stopped its crying properly and fixed its eyes on Ritsu. They were huge eyes, with the same colours as the child's mother's, Ritsu thought.

"Never?"

"Never."

* * *

Ritsu had ended up staying for several more hours. It was afternoon now, and there was more noise and more people. There was the sound of steady traffic outside and the sun was now in a position to freely pour its light through the windows. Various concerned personnel had come to check on the child and other various concerned personnel had conversed in undertones about how the child's relatives were either non-existent or just did not care about the child. The child itself had been getting quieter and quieter and smaller and smaller and was finally slumped miserably on the floor, not even bothering to get a chair.

And Ritsu himself had been sitting thinking.

When a nurse, the same nurse, in fact, who had changed a patient's IV drip in this very ward this very morning, stopped by and leant down to ask,"Excuse me, but have you come to pick up that child? Is he yours?" despite the two corpses _right there _and the distraught child, Ritsu paused thoughtfully, gave the child one last glance and said,"Actually…"

When most of the business had been sorted out, helped along by his influential reach as a member of Septimal Moon, and by the fact that nobody seemed to want the creature, Ritsu found himself towing the reluctant child along by hand and wondering what on earth he was doing. Nagisa would be apoplectic when she found out.

* * *

It was only until they were in a taxi - the taxi driver having been ordered to keep silent the whole way to Septimal Moon if he wanted a good tip - that Ritsu found himself realising that he had forgotten to ask something rather important. He glanced over at the (as he had recently discovered) boy who was gazing disconsolate out the window.

"Hey."

The boy didn't respond.

"Hey. What's your name."

He turned around and stared at Ritsu through wet matted eyelashes and a long fringe of soft blonde hair. Ritsu had been correct about his eyes. "Soubi."  


* * *

_This is Mute Wordsmith. Hope you enjoy the story. Look forward to reading PandaPrinzessin's part next! ;D_


	2. Rebirth

___Childhood? What childhood?  
The one that didn't last?  
The one in which you learned to be afraid  
of the boarded-up well in the backyard  
and the ladder to the attic?_

___-A Hymn to Childhood, Li-Young Lee_

* * *

Dead. It was a strange word, almost onomatopoeic for the dull thud that echoed inside you when you heard it. Soubi wasn't altogether sure he understood the word, but whether he did or not sadly didn't seem to matter to anyone. Nobody really cared how confusing the concept of Mommy-And-Daddy-Aren't-Coming-Back-Not-Ever was to a six year old child.

They hadn't looked dead, they'd looked just the same as they always had, except they didn't respond when he poked them, called their names- even when he'd pried open his mother's eyelids, hoping for the sleepy _go back to bed Soubi Mommy's tired_ that he always got when he did this. Nothing. And then the nurse had pulled the white sheet over so he hadn't even been able to do that any more.

A strange word indeed.

It is an odd and little-known fact that children trust people who resemble them. And while you could not have said for a moment that Ritsu and Soubi were in any way dead ringers for each other, the similarity in hair and eye colour (both as blonde as bleached-out wheat) and even a passing likeness in facial structure was enough that Soubi didn't make a fuss when told he was going with the stranger.

It was cold in the car, the windows misted up with condensation- the kind you could draw pictures in should you be that way inclined. Soubi trailed a finger listlessly across the glass, observing the clear streak his finger left behind; another thing that would never be the same again. It wasn't until the second time the man spoke that Soubi caught what he was saying.

"Hey. What's your name?"

And because Soubi had not yet learnt that your name is the most precious thing you can possess, he looked up and softly replied, "Soubi."

The man nodded, processing the information.

"I am Ritsu Minami. You may call me Ritsu-sensei."

_Sensei?_

"Is it a school? Where we're going?" Soubi ventured.

Ritsu smiled, an odd sort of smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Almost."

* * *

The first time Soubi ever saw Nagisa Sagan, she was furious. When the car had drawn up outside a building more imposing than anything his uneducated six-year old eyes had ever seen, he'd slid out of the door obediently and taken Ritsu's hand, simply because Soubi had never really gone anywhere without one of his parents attached and in their absence, Ritsu-sensei seemed to be the next best thing.

Soubi took note of the sign outside the building, spelling out the kanji carefully in his head. Seven Voices Academy. It was a school then- but what kind?

The question had little time to do more than sluggishly trail through his head before the double glass doors at the entrance to the building flew open with such force that it was surprising they didn't shatter. A hurricane of frothy lace and long loose curls stormed out and shrieked in a perfectly pitched voice that would have put an opera singer to shame, finger extended dramatically in accusation.

"What the hell are you playing at, Ritsu?"

"Well well, Nagisa-san," Ritsu returned with a trace of amusement, whether at Nagisa or at the fact that Soubi had instinctively inched closer to him in response to her theatrics, it wasn't clear. "How nice to see you looking so well. But I think you're scaring our new student."

"It's the middle of the term! Who do you think you are to suddenly drop in this kid just because it suits you?" If Nagisa had been exaggerating for dramatic effect before, she was definitely furious in earnest now.

"The principal, Nagisa-sensei. That's who I think I am."

Even Soubi could taste the threat wrapped in those words_: __I'm the principal and I can fire you if I want to._

The glare the woman directed at him could have etched steel, but Nagisa clearly knew her place and stood for a few moments, an angry mute, before letting out a bark of laughter.

"Well, he'll have to sleep in your room- such a_shame _we don't have any dormitory space with such short notice..." It was at this point that she seemed to actually take note of Soubi's presence, gaze flicking over the pale hair, those enormous eyes the colour of ashes and diluted ink. An instant giveaway.

"Is that... oh, there's no way... even you wouldn't do something this stupid..." The laughter became a full-blown cackle. "That's her brat? You really must be unhinged... oh and he even_looks_ like her as well!"

___"Boys who look like their mothers are the luckiest boys in the world, Soubi-chan..."_

So Ritsu-sensei had known his mother then? Soubi had never really envisioned her having had a life before him, as though his genesis had sprung her into being and even though it didn't matter any more because she wasn't coming back, would never come back, he wanted to know what Ritsu knew about her. Whether she'd smiled the same way or held up a leaf to the light just so she could share the miraculous web of veins criss-crossing its surface.

___"Look how pretty this leaf is! I want you to remember something for me, okay? Even something as lovely as this won't ever be as beautiful as you." _

___And then his father had come home from work and hugged them both and they'd had yakisoba for dinner... and how could they really be gone when he could still remember things like this so vividly?_

But Ritsu didn't look at all as though he'd be imparting any such memories any time soon- the expression on his face could have been anything from sadness to anger but what it most definitely was not was anywhere but the present.

"Yes. This is her child. I expect you to finish up the enrolment procedures tonight, Nagisa- I don't want to be sharing my personal space any longer than is strictly necessary."

And with that, he brushed past Nagisa, through the doors as though he'd forgotten there was a child still clinging to his hand, struggling to keep up.

"Hurry up, Soubi-kun. You aren't walking fast enough."

The first line of a new life, the first command of the millions upon millions there would be to come. It was surprisingly easy, Soubi thought, to be reborn.

* * *

___fear is a metal box with wheels_

___you thought the other car would stop you were so sure it had to follow the rules they didn't turn their headlights off and you covered your eyes because the light was too bright too white and it hurt but not as much as when the car crushed itself into the windscreen and you were thrown so far forwards you thought your head would come off your neck_

___and then daddy would not wake and you tried to wake mommy too but she would not say a thing just pointed to a mark on her arm you had not seen before letters they were characters you had not learned yet you could have sworn you heard her say a name that was not yours and you knew she was crying before she shut her eyes and gave in to the dark stuff spilling from her head_

___your forehead hurt but your heart hurt most of all and you were so afraid that you curled up with your whiplashed neck and cried there is no sound worse than misery that goes unheard and even when they found you later you could not stop spasming back and forth as though you were still frozen in that moment where your world shattered apart that world where you were loved_

* * *

There is no sound more disconcerting than a child screaming and Soubi, being rather a spoilt child, had developed a wail that was more piercing than most ambulance sirens.

Ritsu had gone to bed with a migraine that would not go away despite the complement of pills he'd dosed himself with and the scream that lanced through his hard-gotten sleep was, quite simply, agony. His headache flared back into being- a Minami family trait, headaches so acute they robbed you of balance, of sight, of anything but the desire for them to stop- and he hauled himself out of bed.

A man about to commit murder would have had an expression much like the one on Ritsu's face as he stumbled towards the futon that had been set up on the floor for the child.

Soubi was hysterical, breath scraping in a congested chest _(did he have asthma? She had, Ritsu remembered) _but one glance at the older man's face silenced him. Ritsu would have almost been pleased that he'd quieted the child so easily, had the wrenching pain behind his eyes not been the only thing he could focus on.

"Let me make one thing absolutely clear to you, Soubi-kun. If you don't work hard here, I will throw you out. If you misbehave, I will throw you out. And if you _ever _wake me up at two in the morning again, I will definitely throw you out."

Soubi nodded, those huge eyes even larger in the dark and wiped a hand across the tear tracks that had run down his face.

"I had a bad dream. About the car..."

Ritsu sighed. "You know it's not real. So there's nothing to cry about."

**_A dream, fleeting as smoke, it disappears like the mist when midday draws near. The dream is nothing and sleep is irresistible._**

He didn't know where the wordspell had come from, let alone why he'd used such gentle imagery when he was feeling so incensed but its effect was immediate- Soubi slumped back against the pillow, eyelids fluttering shut.

Ritsu pulled himself up from the carpet and tipped three red-and-white tablets into his hand from a bottle on his bureau, swallowing them down with the practised gulp of someone who was no stranger to prescriptions.

Somehow he didn't think he'd be sleeping that night.

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys, PandaPrinzessin here~ Eheh, hope you all enjoyed the chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it- child Soubi was so much fun to write! Oh, and in case you didn't quite get the paragraph in italics- the inference was that a) it was Soubi's nightmare and b) the strange mark on Soubi's mother's arm and the name he mentions her saying were supposed to imply that she was trying to call for Ritsu- regret perhaps **


	3. Grief

_This chapter takes place over a period of one week._

* * *

Soubi came into consciousness coughing and making small, high-pitched whimpers that were as uncontrollable as hiccups. It was dark and so stuffy it was hard to breathe before he realised he had burrowed under the covers whilst sleeping again. He wriggled about, surfacing and peering blearily around the room.

Pale, watery sunlight streamed in from between the slats of the blinds. The shapes within the room were unfamiliar and gloomy but enough light was allowed in that Soubi's fear of the dark remained untriggered and the little boy sat up, swathed in his duvet, to wonder sleep-befuddled at his surroundings.

Ten minutes passed slowly, which allowed him to realise that his eyes were sore and itchy for some reason, and that he had blonde strands plastered across his face and to his mouth, as if he had been crying in his sleep. His tiny ears, that had been smooshed against his pillow and beneath the weighty covers, were free to gradually return to their original state and flickered gingerly as if to stretch their aching selves.

Soubi lifted hands to his face and scrubbed at his eyes to get rid of the itch and the tickling hairs. He crawled out of the tangle of covers and got to his feet then proceeded to pad around the room.

The room was not his. There was a big bed, much vaster than Soubi's own and with a plain, unadorned coverlet. Soubi clambered on top and into the middle. It was a very boring room. There were no toys. There were some books but their covers only had words and dull colours, with no illustrations or anything to suggest they might conceal an exciting story.

An inspection of the bureau next to the bed turned up a trove of treasures, however. Inside the very top drawer were bottles and packets of beautifully glistening pills. Soubi could see royal purple ones stacked up inside a clear glass container, red-and-white lozenges scattered freely in the drawer after having come loose from their packet, rows and rows of tiny round tablets that were radiant white and could be popped through the foil...

Just as the temptation to put them in his mouth and taste them rose up, so did a little part of him that was reluctant and obedient and not-very-believing that told him such things were bad for him. Soubi did away with this part of himself in the grand total of two seconds, for such colourful items would surely taste as sweet as they looked and Soubi, in his short life, had not yet encountered the meaning of the word "consequences".

He stopped, handful of sweets poised over his open mouth, when he thought he detected footsteps approaching the room. Soubi immediately whipped his pill-laden hand behind his back, guilt plain on his face as he watched the door of the room from which they came.

The footsteps stopped for a minute or two, then their steady tread moved away and silence returned. They had awakened in Soubi, however, the realisation that he was alone in an alien environment. He was also bored and hungry and needed to pee.

In other words, he needed to find an adult.

Dumping the forgotten medicine on the sheets, Soubi wiped his palm on his trousers and slid off the bed. He trotted over to the door, opened it, and slipped through to find himself in a place that was filled with books and papers and looked like where his father worked. There was no sign of anyone having been here so he crossed the room to another door without giving the room a second look and went through.

This time Soubi found himself in a corridor that had a flight of stairs leading downwards. A window opposite him gave him a view - if he stood on tip-toe - of expansive, green grounds that was busy with many people. The sun was a high, distant sphere in the sky that bore into Soubi's gloom-adjusted eyes and forced him to look away.

There was no sign of anyone here either so he thought the footsteps must have been further away than they had sounded.

Leaving the door marked "Principal Minami's Quarters", Soubi went down the stairs, through yet another door and finally found what he was looking for. The door opened out into a wide, airy corridor that was a stark contrast to the uninhabitated silence Soubi had just left. It echoed with chatter and people hurrying past or leisurely strolling by accompanied by other people. It was like a twin of the scene Soubi had seen out of the window.

There was a woman, young-ish looking, wearing a powder-blue blouse, spectacles perched on the end of her nose, and hair swept up into a bun. She had previously been about to turn into one of the adjoining corridors but has espied Soubi, and couldn't have looked more surprised at his appearance than if Ritsu had magicked him out of a hat.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

Soubi, blissfully unaware of the secretary's utterly perplexed state and with a confidence born of a child's ignorance of social _faux pas_, went over and stated,"I need to pee."

The secretary had not been hired by Seven Voices Academy merely for the speed with which she could type and file items, and retained enough composure to smile kindly down at the young boy who had just come out of the dragon Principal Minami's lair,"Would you like me to show you to the nearest bathroom?"

"Yes please," Soubi automatically took a hold of the nice-smelling lady's hand. The lady led him over to what was actually the women's public toilet but left him to go into the cubicle himself. It was weird, not using the men's bathroom where there were special toilets to pee in but he managed and came out to wash his hands at the nice lady's prompting.

The lady, whose name was Sumi, had by now quite a bit of time to wonder who the nameless child was and why he had been wandering about Minami Ritsu's rooms unsupervised. When the little boy with rumpled clothes like he had slept in them and unbrushed hair was finished, Sumi led him out to some seats in a quieter part of the corridor.

"My name is Sumi," she was careful to smile at him and keep a friendly tone,"May I ask what your name is?"

"Soubi."

"Soubi-kun? That's a nice name. Tell me, Soubi-kun, why were you in Minami-san's rooms?"

"Minami-san?" Soubi squinted at her in confusion. He was more interested in watching the numerous people pass by.

"The principal. You were in his rooms, Soubi-kun"

_Principal_. He had heard that word before, hadn't he. The word rose somewhere at the back of his mind. "I woke up there."

Sumi made a little noise of surprise before she could stop herself, earning herself some careless glances. "But Soubi-kun, where are your parents?"

Sumi was aware words had power, working in such an institution as she was, but the poor woman could have hardly expected them to have such an effect on the child.

For Soubi, it was simply the first confirmation of a simple truth that would dominate the next decade of his life.

Their effect was immediate. The hazy veil that had been drawn over Soubi's mind since he had woken up dispersed, like mist when midday drew near. A suffocating, crushing weight bore down on him, driving the air from his lungs like a blow to the stomach and that weight felt seemed smelt like

_an ear-rending screech of desperate braking and a resulting crash that was impossible to tell if it was felt or heard because it was so loud and jarred the entire world around you and there was the taste of copper on your tongue like you had put a penny in your mouth and it was in the air too and it was painted on your hands and on your face and clothes and on the windscreen and drenching the driver's seat in front of you and mommy there was so much red it was dying her hair and dripping into her eyes and mommy mommy mommy_

_"They'll never wake up again."_

_"Never?"_

_"Never."_

Sumi watched in rapidly growing consternation as the small boy crumpled to the floor, drawing in a desperate breath of air that seemed to catch and rasp in his throat. The consternation grew to alarm as the boy lay there, hunched in on himself, hands clasped around his chest that seemed to heave with each quick gasp of air and never seemed to get enough oxygen, and by the time darkness was eating away at Soubi's vision, she was calling for help.

_cantbreathecantbreathe_

* * *

A good while later, when it was no longer so bright or so busy, Soubi slowly began to take in his surroundings. He was faintly aware that some time had passed, and that there had been many people moving around him and talking to him and doing things to him. He wasn't in the big corridor anymore and the nice-smelling lady was gone. Instead, the room he was in was dark and had no one in it except himself. He was lying down in a bed with white sheets and had a strange mask over the lower half of his face and there was a drape separating it from another bed and with a clutch of panic Soubi thought for a wild moment that he might be back in the hospital, except this time he was dead too. It was almost enough to send him back into hysterics but it was suppressed by another numb revelation. His parents were dead.

Soubi lay, staring with dull eyes at the ceiling. His head was pounding and he felt too weak to move his limbs. He wasn't sure if it was because he hadn't been able to breathe or if he was tired or sick or

that his parents were dead.

But they couldn't be. He had seen them yesterday. Been with them. His mother had woken him up as usual, and they had gone down to eat and then

Soubi's brain stopped his thoughts in their track as it veered away from the gaping traumatic abyss that loomed within his psyche. It resumed at the safest point after the "incident".

and then they were in the hospital weren't they. Only his parents had gotten ill and so they had to be kept there for a bit by the doctor, like sometimes happened to Soubi's mum when her breathing got difficult and so

and so _they were still there_. Of course! Soubi felt relief wash through his body that was so intense it made his eyes tear up. _Of course_. They were at the hospital! They weren't dead, and that guy, that principal person was lying or mistaken but it didn't matter because they weren't dead and they _were _coming back.

The tightening in his chest that he hadn't noticed happening until now slackened off and then disappeared. Despite his enervated physical state, Soubi felt the best he had since coming to this place. This school. Actually, since his parents were

_dead_

alive after all, there was really no reason to be here. It was late, terribly late, dark enough to definitely be past Soubi's bedtime. They would be wondering where he was.

Soubi's grip on the bedsheets unconciously tightened as an unspeakable thought was suggested to him by the more mutinous part of his mind. They _would_ wonder where he was, wouldn't they? What if they... what if they left? What if they thought he had decided to leave by himself and they got better before he could go back to the hospital and _lef_...

The machine monitoring Soubi's breathing began to speed and then a small red LED on it light up. Shortly afterwards, there was the sound of brisk footsteps and a person entered the room, going straight for Soubi. It was a man with deep lines under his eyes and a somewhat genial manner as he smiled at Soubi and asked "Is everything alright Soubi-kun?" even as he started to take something out of a kit near Soubi's bed.

Soubi opened his mouth to convey the urgent message that he needed to go back to that hospital _now_ but the mask got in the way and he fumbled clumsily to try and remove it.

"Please try to relax Soubi-kun. I'm going to give you a jag now, but it'll barely hurt, I promise."

The doctor rolled Soubi over onto his stomach and Soubi managed to claw the mask away. "Hospital," he wheezed, "my parents!"

"You're going to be fine Soubi-kun. This jag will help you breathe."

The doctor had treated many people in his job for various illnesses and wounds, including a good few children, but he had never met a child who had cried so much just by getting a jag.

* * *

A steaming cup of coffee, brewed as black as pitch, was placed on Minami Ritsu's desk then the dutiful employee left, closing the door in as quiet and respectable a manner as possible.

Minami Ritsu had neglected to sleep for over forty-eight hours.

Seated at his desk, he leant his chin on steepled hands and was currently reading over paperwork. Being principal meant there was never a shortage of paperwork - _never_- but much of it was duly delegated to subordinates so Ritsu could have free time which he spent on more worthwhile activities, like studying in the library or overseeing students, or on unfortunately necessary ones, like sleeping and eating. Neither a need to sleep nor hunger had bothered Ritsu within these last forty-eight plus hours so he had done away with going to bed or the refectory and instead subsisted on pure black coffee and the headache pills he kept in his desk drawer. They would run out soon: he'd have to send someone to get more.

His secretary had come in this morning, unnerved to find him _still_ at work, and had enquired in a timid voice whether everything was alright. Ritsu had stared at her until she left the room and she now only dared to bother him about professional affairs and had been instructed that, under no circumstances, was Ritsu meeting anyone today.

Ritsu felt like hell.

There was no logical reason for him to feel like this. His pills were keeping away any migraines that might occur from lack of sleep or overdosing of caffeine, and it wasn't like this was the first time he hadn't slept for two days or bothered to eat (something that irritated Nagisa greatly), and Nagisa _herself _had not invaded his office since he saw her last, which was in itself a cause for celebration...

...and yet. And _yet_. And that was it. Ritsu could not adequately describe why suddenly life had drained of colour, of feeling, of everything, why things had taken on a dream-like quality, why he didn't really care about going to the library to study or watching over students battling with word-spells which usually gave him a measure of quiet satisfaction, why he could no longer motivate himself to get up and shower and change his clothes which was something he had never allowed himself to fall into, having abhorred laziness ever since he was a child...

But if he came out of this little enclosed space, Ritsu knew he would have to look around and see people living their lives and watch life go on, and know that the world was going to keep on spinning, and each day that went by would take him a little further away from the time before the phone-call from Kurosawa Hospital.

Ritsu sipped his coffee.

* * *

"No, I really need to phone the hospital, _please_," Soubi implored.

The orderly, who had come in with a plastic tray of food and to check that the child was generally okay, held up his hands,"I'm sorry, but I don't know what hospital you mean. Why don't you ask the doctor? I'm sure he'd know."

"But I don't know where the doctor is!" Soubi said, frustration at this unhelpful man growing. He hadn't been allowed out of bed since his asthma attack yesterday and he had seen very few people today. With nothing to do, he would have been bored to tears if he hadn't been under the awful compulsion that he somehow _must_ contact his parents and let them know he was okay and coming to the hospital. "My parents are there and I really need to let them know where I am."

"I'm sure Seven Voices has the contact details for your parents," the man assured the child, then left.

Soubi gaped after the man and then stuck out his tongue. So infuriating! Why didn't any of them _listen_?

His vision blurred and Soubi became aware that tears had sprung to his eyes, probably from frustration. He rubbed them away with his hands. Funny. He had been crying a lot lately.

* * *

That afternoon, Soubi got a visitor.

Sumi was wearing different clothes from the last time they had met, but Soubi recognised her purple glasses. She was carrying a white basket of fruit, which she set down on the bedside table ("for you," she said), and asked if she might have a seat. Soubi, enchanted by the idea that an adult would ask his permission to do anything, said she may.

"Well Soubi-kun," Sumi sat down on the edge of his bed and smoothed down her skirt,"How are you today?"

"Fine, but they won't let me get out of bed," Soubi said, perusing the basket with interest. Boredom would usually have led him to disobey these instructions, but he found that his limbs really were rather weak and shaky and so he had followed the doctor's orders for now.

"That's good to hear."

"Not really, it's boring." Soubi attempted to lift the basket of fruit over onto his bed. It was surprisingly heavy and so he hesitated for a moment before Sumi leant over and helped to lift it. Inside was a tall and narrow "Get well" card. The writing was fancy, but all in simple characters that Soubi could read which led him to wonder if Sumi had written the card herself. He said "thank you" to her and popped a red grape into his mouth, before proffering the basket to her.

"Thank you," Sumi hesitated before selecting a red grape and eating it too. The conversation lapsed and then started again as Soubi burst out in surprise,"This has seeds in it!"

Sumi began to laugh before remembering herself and swallowed her food before saying,"Yes, I bought grapes with seeds in them. Haven't you had them before?"

"No, I've only ever had green grapes before, and they never had seeds in them. We used to keep a fruit bowl in the middle of..." Soubi trailed off as he remembered. "I need to phone my parents!" His heart lurched unpleasantly as he realised that he had completely forgotten his mission. "Do you... may I please borrow a phone? Please? I'll only use it for a minute or two, I swear, but I really really do need it."

Sumi had had a momentary panic at this outburst, her mind flashing back to the small boy collapsing to the floor at the mention of his parents and had half a mind to call for one of the nurses. "I don't have a phone with me, Soubi-kun. Is something wrong?"

Soubi began to scramble out from under the sheets but was stopped by a spell of coughing. He stopped and focused on taking breaths, just like how his mother taught him to do when he began to cough like this. He was aware of being watched warily by the woman at the end of his bed, and also aware that he might scare her off if she thought he was going to collapse again.

When he thought he had a grip on his breathing, he started again,"My parents are in hospital. Not this one. It's really important for them to know where I am. Please."

"But Soubi-kun, surely your parents would know where you are. Seven Voices always makes sure of that." Well, they usually did. At least for the younger students of the school, and for those whose parents were unfamiliar with the system. The parents of older children, and parents who had some experience with Seven Voices themselves, whether as Fighters or Sacrifices, didn't fuss as much once they were used to the fact that their children were confined in a school for special students that was very strict with confining the students within the boundaries of the school. The annual monetary gifts the school sent to such parents usually allayed any worries they might have, too.

"No, they wouldn't know, they're ill you see, and if they think that I've gotten better and left, then they'll leave too, and then I won't be able to find them!" Keenly aware again of how long he had been away from his parents, Soubi gave Sumi a pleading look.

"Is this why you were with Principal Minami? Did he decide to look after you until your parents were better?" Fat chance of that, thought Sumi.

"I don't know, I don't know that man. He just came to the hospital too and then..." things became a little fuzzy for Soubi "...then he took me away. I'm not sure why. But I absolutely have to get back! _Please_!"

"But if Principal Minami is a friend of your parents, then surely he'd get a call when they've gotten better, wouldn't he?"

"I don't know! I..." The exasperation welled up in Soubi's chest to become a painful sting in his eyes. Why did this woman keep bringing up silly things like that? They didn't matter! "That doesn't matter! Please! They will get better, they will...!" Now he was going to cry in front of this adult he didn't know. Soubi covered his face.

A comforting hand descended onto Soubi's head and stroked his hair. "There, there," Sumi shushed,"Don't worry Soubi-kun. I'll get in touch with your parents for you, how about that?"

"Pinky promise?" Soubi demanded.

"Promise."

* * *

The handle of the door to Ritsu's office jiggled furiously. The jiggling stopped as soon as the intruder identified the presence of a lock. Thumping of the door commenced, and shouting, but Ritsu didn't need to hear the intruder identify themselves to know Nagisa Sagan was at the door. He had known as soon as she had attempted to open the door without knocking (or, indeed, asking for entry). To his credit, he had anticipated such a move and activated the lock, which was electronic and thus could not be lock-picked.

"PRINCIPAL!"

And it was made of stainless steel and thus highly resistant to, say, a hammer.

"OPEN THIS DOOR!"

But there was only a very small chance of Nagisa Sagan utilising a hammer against the lock. She'd be afraid of breaking her nails.

"OPEN IT RIGHT NOW, RITSU!"

The use of his first name indicated the urgency in the request. Said urgency was probably because...

BANG. A chunk of wood flew out from the door and skittered across Ritsu's desk. He blinked.

"Hah!" Nagisa spat viciously, her voice less muted. Her victorious face appeared through the new hole in Ritsu's door. Ritsu could hear his secretary in the background asking Nagisa to please put the hammer away.

Another loud bang cut off his secretary's protests as the hammer bit again into the door, metal head stuck amongst splinters before being wrenched back, reaming the already considerable hole in Ritsu's door. Bang. Bang. Bang. Ritsu both heard and saw his secretary leave to call for someone more persuasive to get Nagisa to stop. After a moment of thinking, Ritsu moved his papers into a desk drawer in case a bit of door upset his cup of coffee (cup of coffee and wood splinters, now that he looked at it) and folded his hands across the top of his desk to wait.

Nagisa's onslaught against the door continued until her head was clearly visible, with a bit of space to spare, before finally stopping. Ritsu gave her a minute or two to catch her breath (she was panting from her exertions) before saying,"Good morning, Sagan-san." and then only now going over to unlock the door.

"Ritsu!" Nagisa's eyes flashed. "What on earth do you think you're doing?"

"I was doing paperwork, I am now wondering why you saw fit to break down my door," Ritsu felt gratified that he still had strength to summon a reprimanding edge to his tone. Nagisa's face coloured and her scowl grew deeper in turn. That's right; find a weak spot to your opponent. Throw them off kilter, it gave them less of a chance to successfully block or dodge or resist your spell.

"I am breaking down your door because I just heard that you have been holed up in your office for _three entire days_!" Nagisa hissed.

"What I do in my free time is none of your concern, Sagan-san."

"This is because of her, isn't it?"

Ritsu stopped, stunned. Then he began to laugh. Nagisa, fervence dispelled by the lack of conflict, hesitated then slowly lowered her arm until the hammer dangled uncertainly by her side. Ritsu's laugh, unopposed by any other noise, filled the room.

Talk about catching someone off their guard! For all his experience as a Fighter, for all his supposed superiority as the youngest principal the school had ever had, one of the top authorities on Wordspell techniques... Caught off guard by the youngest, flightiest member of Septimal Moon!

"**God**, people like you piss me off!" Ritsu's hand slammed down on his desk. Nagisa flinched.

He had tried to uphold things with order and rules and logic. He had always done so. Why do anything else? There was no _reason _to do anything else. At school he had attained the highest grades in all his subjects. He had trained himself to perfection as a Fighter. He had researched and experimented with Fighter techniques, and had gathered data on Sacrifices too. Any students that had come under his tutoring had gone away as adequate, if not exceedingly strong, Fighters. Everything was done neatly and efficiently. So why...?

Why did people get in his way? It was like they did it on _purpose_. People like Nagisa, who was good for nothing other than her surgical expertise. They had been at school too, whining about how Ritsu was so clever and how they wished they were clever enough to get good grades too instead of actually bothering to study like they should. Lazy, incompetent people who didn't do anything right, who didn't do anything as it should be done.

When he had gone to university, they had been there, students who had gone out all night and partied and gotten drunk and then boasting about how they weren't ready for upcoming tests or how they hadn't done their project for so-and-so's class.

When he had become a Fighter, quickly rising in rank and reputation, his opponents had complained too. "What's wrong with you?" "Hey, you could have seriously hurt her!" "Why are you so cold?" Even his own Sacrifice had been ungrateful when he had seen to it that the fight was finished swiftly, leaving her unscathed and the enemy Sacrifice in Absolute Restriction.

Ritsu raised a hand to his head. Headache. It was pounding against his temples, the surging of blood sounding deafening in his head, in the utter silence in his office. He could see Nagisa still standing by the door out the corner of his vision. He wasn't sure how long they continued to stand there, Ritsu willing the headache to recede and Nagisa lifting shaking hands to her face to brush the hair out of her eyes, or so it looked like.

Someone entered the office, making both Nagisa and Ritsu start, though only Nagisa showed her surprise outwardly.

A man in a fine suit stood by the entrance, taking in the unhappy silence and the two figures of Nagisa and Ritsu. "I was told there was a disturbance in your office, Principal," the man said blandly. "Might it be something I can help with?"

Five. Ritsu wasn't sure whether to be soothed or frustrated by his presence. Five was one of the few people Ritsu knew who earned a modicum of respect from him, without even trying. A reserved middle-aged man, who was one of the senior members of Septimal Moon and one of the key members for keeping it together, with unflappable composure and a tendency to play the role of peacemaker. Ritsu was never sure if his calming words were spells or not, indeed, Five seemed very removed from the happenings of Fighters and Sacrifices.

When Ritsu did not respond, Five turned to Nagisa,"Sagan-san, would you be so kind as to give us a moment? I wish to speak to the Principal about something. I believe your sister intends to visit this afternoon...?"

Nagisa sniffed loudly, nodded, and left the office with her head downcast and great swathes of curled blonde hair occluding her face. Five waited until she had definitely left the outer office before addressing Ritsu,"Ritsu-san, this cannot go on."

Irritated at being addressed like a misbehaving schoolboy, Ritsu looked up and opened his mouth to speak. When he saw the pity, and not reproval, in Five's eyes, he forgot what he had initially been going to say and instead forced out, voice husky,"I don't need your pity."

"It's not pity. It's compassion. There's a difference, Ritsu-san."

"Considering that they each have zero practical use, they're both the same to me," Ritsu regretted the glib answer as soon as it came out of his mouth.

Five studied him for a long moment. Ritsu returned the look, feeling overwhelmingly tired and light-headed. Five went to drum his fingers on Ritsu's desk and looked politely surprised when he got finger pads full of splinters.

"Ritsu-san, if you would please return to your room, I would be more than happy to clear up the mess here."

"Is that an order?"

"It's a request."

Put like that, Ritsu compressed his lips into a thin, tense line and left the room.

"You're not the first Fighter to lose a Sacrifice, Ritsu-san," Five called after him.

Ritsu didn't bother to reply.

* * *

One of the orderlies assigned to the morning shift at Seven Voices' medical clinic was surprised to see a young woman already waiting for visiting hours to start. She was fretful and distracted. The orderly wasn't aware there had been a patient within the clinic who had been severely injured. He let her in at five minutes to nine, five minutes earlier than visiting hours were supposed to start, but they weren't busy that day and he felt that she had waited long enough.

Even greater was his surprise then, when she left within ten minutes of her going in. She was led out, face white, by one of the medical staff (Dr. Something-Or-Other) and from the ward she had been visiting came the howls of,"Liar! You're _LYING_!"

"Soubi-kun!" she turned back to call,"Soubi-kun, I'm so sorry!"

"_LIAR_!"

* * *

_To: (at)septm(dot)com_  
_From:sasegawa555(at)septm(dot)com_  
_Subject: Today is pudding day at the canteen!_

_Ritsu-taaaaan,_

_they're serving pudding today at the canteen! :) if you don't come, i'll eat your helping of pudding __as well! :o_

**CONFIRM DELETION?**

DELETION CONFIRMED.

* * *

"You're allowed to leave the infirmary now, Soubi-kun," the doctor informed his patient.

The boy lying in the bed remained listless.

"Soubi-kun?" the doctor repeated softly. "Come now, surely you're bored of just lying there day after day?"

No reply.

* * *

There was an incident in the school today. One inconsiderate young man had been remarking to his friends on how terrible it was for a Fighter not to be able to protect his Sacrifice successfully, and if Principal Ritsu's Sacrifice was dead, then the Principal should just die too. Nagisa Sagan had been near enough to overhear this, and had to be pulled off by several bystanders as she proceeded to beat the bewildered youth around the head with her binders and then burst into angry tears.

* * *

I don't want to be on night duty anymore, the nurse told the doctor. That little boy cries all night and he doesn't stop even when I go to him.

* * *

Ritsu was back in his office again. He hadn't done anything like the first time, being in his office for three days straight, but he had come close to it last night, and even as he sat at his desk this afternoon, he wondered whether he'd sleep tonight. He wondered if he'd slept _last_ night as well, although there certainly was that period of blankness from yesterday night to this morning that was similar to sleep. No dreams though.

* * *

_My parents are dead_, Soubi thought. His eyes were itchy and sore from crying. There were blonde strands plastered to his eyes and mouth. Only one ear was smooshed from being pressed against his pillow constantly. The sunlight was not watery or pale but pouring in solid and bright through the panes of the window. He knew exactly where he was.

* * *

"I'll be leaving now, Principal Minami," his secretary called through.

* * *

The doctor came in to eat his lunch with Soubi, sitting down on the adjacent bed. He was old and had gray hair. He might be nice, Soubi wasn't sure. He hadn't spoken a word since Sumi's second visit.

* * *

"I brought Western tea," Five explained, as he poured the tea out into little earthenware cups. "Since you dislike green tea so much. Have you ever tried black tea before?"

* * *

There was a mountain of scrunched tissues on Soubi's bed, and around it, and under it. His sleeves were damp; there is only so many times you can use them to wipe your eyes and nose before they become saturated.

* * *

"So what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Ah, nothing. What made you think I wanted to talk?"

"...So you just came to bring me tea."

"That's right."

"Just that?"

"Yes.

"..."

* * *

The tissues were aaalll swept up into the bin with a broom, bit by bit, being compressed down before more were pushed in. Sweep, sweep. Compress, compress. Make a cube of soggy tissues.

"Here's a new box of tissues for you, Soubi-kun."

Sniff. "Thank you."

* * *

Nagisa's eyes were red and puffy. Her teeth were chattering.

* * *

New shift. Sun down, lights on. Soubi tried his best not to cry loudly, but now it was dark again, he was just so, so scared the nightmares would come back.

* * *

"Y-you," she heaved a great sniff and eyed Ritsu with watery eyes. She looked determinedly unrepentant. "You've left someone who has been taking up an entire bed in my clinic for almost an entire w-week!"

* * *

"C-can you fetch someone for me? Please?"

* * *

Ritsu's eyes widened.

* * *

The person checking the room had gone. Soubi uncovered his face and took an almost convulsive gulp of air. He had managed to quell his crying long enough to pretend he was sleeping. Soubi was glad that they had left a light on.

"Soubi-kun."

Soubi turned immediately: the voice was unmistakeable.

Ritsu stood in the middle of the room. He was watching him.

Soubi's bottom lip began to quiver and he stretched out his arms.

Wordlessly, Ritsu went over and picked the boy up. He held Soubi, face pressed down amongst the boy's blonde hair. The bed sheets were entangled around him, trailing on the floor, as Soubi clung to Ritsu in mute misery. With one hand, half-setting Soubi down on the bed, Ritsu extricated the boy from the sheets before picking him back up and cradling him close.

"I know. I know," he whispered.

* * *

_Ah, Ritsu. Don't worry, he's young. He'll mellow out when he's older._

_Thank you for waiting so patiently for this chapter to arrive. While I am here, I would like to apologise for any lack of quality in this chapter. I struggled to write it, and so some bits may seem contrived. If there are any bits you are unhappy with,_ **please tell me**_. _**Telling me how I can improve my writing will allow me to write a more enjoyable chapter next time**_. Thank you!_

_P.S. While you are waiting for the next installment, please check out PandaPrinzessin's _**Symmetry**_ story!_


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